I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
