please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
