He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
