All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
