Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
