I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
