we're blogging at a bar
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
