Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
