We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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