Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
