Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
