She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
