somebody snuck up and got me drunk
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
