i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
