Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
