my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
