Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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