I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
