Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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