Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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