Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
