shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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