I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
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