you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
