Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
