she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
