You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
