That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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