I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
