i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
