Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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