someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
