I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
