drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
