Nicole vs. Life
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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