Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
