Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
