So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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