Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
