Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
