Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
