Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
