I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
