there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
