somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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