I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
