I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i need some magic done to my vagina
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
