Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
