Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
