So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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