What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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