CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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