im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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