these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
