Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
