I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
