Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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